Although I have a long-standing and deep-seated aversion to those exotic and obnoxious pets people call "kids", I have noticed that many people seem to enjoy them and haul them around wherever they go and allowing them to invest public venues. If I felt that way, I would definitely bring my "kids" on this trip. They might not remember Havana (or distinguish it from Knott's Berry Farm) but they will definitely remember The Boat.
Probably the biggest memory will be of the first half hour, that being the period during which everybody is shuttled out to the waiting ship (Cancun waters are too shallow for big ships to put in) which is done in a pirate ship. And I don't mean some design knock-off, I mean a full-sized, fully functional, real-life pirate ship made of forbidding black iron plates, bristling with gun ports, hung with ratlines and Jolly Rogers, and with a figurehead of Captain Hook his own self. Kids love it, and express that love by swarming around like vermin, trampling decent folk and generally running amok from sheer novelty and untapped gene malfunctions.
Then, once aboard, every guest gets a picture taken standing behind a life ring between two beautiful chorus girls. Well, actually, I liked that part better than the kids did. When they arrive in their cabins they find that the TV gets only two channels, but both show nothing but movies with no commercials, and half of those movies are about dinosaurs, animated villains, Japanese mind rot and the sort of things kids love to stunt their minds with.
Then they surge out onto deck like a modern pestilence and find a whole new world to explore...a world largely composed of places to swim, free sodas, friendly people in white uniforms, and places where adults don't show up. Even the swimming pool has a surf. It's just too much, apparently. Or they pillage around below decks, where there are gambling devices disguised as video games, stores full of candy and games, a ping-pong table where the ball (and players) lurch at odd angles, huge spiral stairways, bingo games and crafts in the salons, and even--on the last day of the cruise--a chance to visit the navigation bridge. Actually it's amazing the little buggers behave themselves at all.
Then there are meals, with unlimited seconds, including DESSERTS, which can be snagged and bolted without Mom knowing about it, and more bottomless soda pops. After dinner there's a big show with dancers and noise. Which can be fun in itself, but also tends to anchor the adults, allowing kids the run amok. If I was a kid I'd stow away on this sucker and never go ashore, like Tim Roth in the that weird "1900" movie.
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